The art of Staying Curious in the Combustion of Life. by River Bennett

River Bennett (Photographer River Bennett)

The Art of Staying CURIOUS in the COMBUSTION of LIFE.

Most mornings I wake up with the dread that I only have x amount of hours in my day.
Sounds negative, I know. 
Within those hours I create an environment in which my three little men can live. 
An environment that speaks of loving, admiring, correcting, saving, encouraging, disciplining. I also have to feed them while saving them from the next object they are climbing that in my opinion is waaaay too high. (One day I will have a chef...and a massive roll of bubble wrap). 
I also need a lot of patience. (I have just stopped a kid waving a balloon in my face 10 times over as I am writing this. Gahhhhh!!!) I also have housework (Lord save me from it) and a husband (who also likes to eat.) There are friends to meet and strangers to engage. 

Thing is, most days, I want to Peace Out (call me a Creative.) I want to be on my own. In my own space. In silence. I want to hear myself breathe. I want to hear myself THINK. 

Because as an artist, this time is valuable right?! The peace and quiet helps us get our congested thoughts about our particular craft out. 
John Cleese talks about creativity not being a talent but a way of operating daily. He says in order to do this we need "Space. Time. And time." 
So when we get our "Space. Time. And time." it's a relief. Like the feeling you get straight after you vomit up something nasty. Satisfaction. It's out. I can continue my day (unless it's pregnancy vomit... You won't ever get on with your day until that child is born).
When I have moments in my day like this I put my head on the pillow and dream sweet dreams until I wake the next day with the same dread of "I only have x amount of hours in the day." 
And what if I don't get my peace and quiet? What if I can't get it out? What if I don't accomplish anything substantial today?

Well - maybe I won't. Maybe today I won't have anything to show. Or will I? 
Hold on, maybe today was all about being CURIOUS. Being in amongst it. Searching ideas, patterns, rhythms. Maybe it was about being interested. Adding notes to the textbooks of my mind. Training my eye to see things I didn't see before. Training my ear to hear things I haven't heard before. Creating space and time within life's combustion. 
That smile on my son's face as he pulled away from his dad after he got a kiss. The architecture of the playground we visited. What was the song that my four year old was tapping with his fingers on the bench while he ate breakfast? That balloon in my face was blue. 

I've heard it said: "If you want to be interesting, be interested." 

Our greatest work is yet to be discovered and produced. Our everyday is a combustion of life in all it's goodness. Let's stay curious. Let's stay present. And develop what we learned from our space and time today.